The Fog

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Earlier this month a bout of fog settled in our valley. The first day it arrived, it was a novelty. On the way to the store, I pulled out my phone at a stoplight to click a picture of the white nothingness that surrounded me. The next day as the newness of the fog wore off, the inability to see more than a few feet in front of me wore on me. By the third day, I found myself fighting against the weight of negative thoughts and gloom that seemed to breed in the cloudy mist. As I inched forward in my car, trying to make out the tail lights in front of me, the ugly thought popped into my mind, “This fog is too much like my life.” There really is truth in this thought. Over the past 5 years, struggles with infertility, changes of jobs and moves have caused a lot of anxious unknowns. Then my synapses fired back, “It’s the metaphor for everyone’s life.” Truth. I felt a spark of camaraderie with all of my fellow drivers as I caught glimpses of their headlights coming through the haze. Each of us journeying to our own destination, hunched over our steering wheels trying to make out what is up ahead or, if nothing else, just trying to stay on the road.

The next day, my husband, LM and I packed up our car and traveled four hours south for a long weekend at my sister’s house, which is a bit of an oasis amid the red rock desert. The temperatures were well above what I had felt in months and the skies were clear.

The next morning, I found myself bouncing on the trampoline with LM and my 3-year-old niece and nephew . My presence was mainly out of protection for my son who hasn’t quite figured out jumping yet, but was delighted to be outside with his older cousins. The sun warmed the back of my neck as the little ones giggled around me. I thought back to my discouraging moment amidst the fog just a couple days earlier. I didn’t realize how much the weather was affecting my mood until I was able to escape it. The sun rays gave me new light, reminding me that eventually fog lifts, unknowns become clear and things have a way of working themselves out.

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