Learning to Bloom

 

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“Bloom where you’re planted” or “Love the skies you are under.” These are both great old adages which I’m not the best at. I’ve been feeling that itch again. The need for a change, a distraction.

I was the worst at following this itch of mine in college. If I ever felt like I was in a rut, I would move. Every year, I’d pack up my stuff and head to a new apartment, usually in a completely different apartment complex across town. I’d convince myself that getting out of my comfort zone is what would stretch me, thus making me better and, in the end, happier. When it came to fight or flight, I would usually choose flight, which in the end, caused me to be quite flighty. This is probably why I wasn’t very good at having a boyfriend during these years.

Once married, I was almost always planning long weekends, day trips and night outs. I don’t regret those trips or fun times with my husband, but with our new situation in life (meaning having a little one) we don’t have the means or flexibility to take off whenever we want.

The itch for change has come in subtle ways lately, so subtle it took me awhile to even detect what was going on. First, I found myself choosing paint chips to change the color of every room of our house (and secretly looking at Zillow at different house options, even though we have only been here for a year). Next, I cut my hair short. Maybe it’s my personality or maybe it’s living in a fast-changing world that promotes readily entertainment and instant gratification. However, all this searching for the next adventure or good time around each corner is exhausting. So I’m putting my foot down to this nervous itch of mine and instead of scratching it, I planted tulip bulbs. Sounds funny, I know. I figured by planting them I would then need to be around to see them bloom and I’m hoping they will be a reminder to myself to stay grounded and bloom where I’m planted. Contentment can be found here in this place and this moment. (However, I still might paint some of the rooms in my house for fun.)

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